Where do we go
by Preppy Princess 5103
Summary: Mac gets married, Harm is too late. Or is he?
1. Default Chapter

Title: Where do we go…

Author: Tsarina Smith

Rating: PG-13

Summary: It would spoil EVERYTHING

Spoilers: No major. As I write a line of familiar dialogue may pop up. 

Disclaimer: Please. If I owned them I wouldn't struggle to pay my cell phone bill. Although, DB, I AM a film major, if you need an intern… hint, hint

*** This has nothing to do with my prior fics.

FEEDBACK PLEASE! (Pretty please with a cherry on top?)

Part One

'I can't believe I'm here.' Harm looked around, still unable to comprehend everything that had happened. Mac, HIS Sarah, was getting married. And he was actually watching. And he wasn't going to object. 'She wants this.' He thought, a frown marring that sexy mouth. 'Worse then that, she loves him.' He looked at her, her hands linked with his, smiling as the minister pronounced them man and wife. As they kissed, Harm closed his eyes and silently went back to the day this all began.

***

8 Months Earlier

"Harm, you're being irrational."

"Mac, dogs and cats hate each other. How can you think of doing that to poor Jingo."

She rolled her eyes and leaned back in her seat. "It's a dog. He's an old dog. He'll adjust."

"Whatever you say, Mac." He sighed and turned onto the street that led to her apartment. He slowed, to stop at the light. Less then 5 seconds later, his car was pushed forward. "What the hell." he muttered. "Mac, you ok?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." They both undid their seatbelts and walked over to the car that hit them. Her jaw almost fell when she saw the driver of the other car. He was without a doubt one of the best looking men she had ever seen. He was tall, and tan, with sandy blonde hair and big blue eyes.

"I am so sorry." He said, "are you guys ok?"

Mac somehow managed to nod. "Yeah, we're fine." Harm said curtly. He wasn't blind to Mac's reaction.

He nodded. "Thank goodness." He looked at Mac and smiled, "I'm Kevin Demarco."

Mac smiled and shook his extended one. "I'm Sarah MacKenzie, and this is my partner, Harm Rabb."

Harm was growing impatient, "Look, lets just trade information so we can get out of here."

Mac shot him a look, and then smiled at Kevin. He smiled at her, while handing Harm a business card. 

Harm snatched it away. "I'll be in touch. Come on Mac."

Mac smiled as she got in the car.

Kevin smiled after them. He looked at the business card in his hand. "JAG Headquarters." He muttered.

"Did you have to be so rude?" Mac asked, the second they were in the car.

"Did you have to seem so flirtatious?"

Mac's eyes widened. "I was NOT flirting. I was being friendly. There is a difference."

"Whatever."

"Whatever."

***

"Colonel MacKenzie." Mac answered her phone, not lifting her glance from the file before her. It had been a long morning. Harm was still pissed about the yesterday and her mind was elsewhere. More specifically on Kevin Demarco.

"Sarah, I… this is Kevin Demarco."

Mac sat straight up, and closed the file. "Hi, how are you?"

"I'm doing good. I hope you don't mind me calling. I knew you and Harm worked together and I got the number off the business card. God, I'm babbling."

She laughed gently. "I'm glad you called actually. I wanted to apologize for Harm acting like such an ass yesterday. He gets that way sometimes."

"I would to if some strange man was coming onto the beautiful women I was with."

"Harm and I aren't together." Mac said, smiling.

"Really." Kevin grinned. "Well, are you involved with anyone else?"

Mac bit her lower lip, "Not at the moment."

'Yes!' Kevin thought. "Would you by any chance be interested in having dinner with me tonight?"

'Yes!' She thought. "I'd love too." She gave him her address and he said he'd pick her up at 7:00." Mac hung up the phone and leaned back in her chair, a satisfied smile on her face.

***

Present Day

Harm forced a smile as he walked up to the happy couple. "May I be the first to kiss the bride?" He said softly.

Mac nodded and allowed Harm to gently kiss her. He looked at Kevin, who was smiling as brilliantly as his new wife. 

"Congratulations, Kevin. You have a great woman here."

Kevin smiled, "Don't I know it." 

The moment grew more awkward when Bailey Camille walked up to them. Bailey was Kevin's four year old daughter. She was a precious little girl. The day Mac found about her, she had almost broke up with him.

***

6 Months Earlier

"Harm, can I talk to you for a minute?"

He looked up from his notes, "Sure, what's the problem?"

Mac sat down in the chair across from his desk. "It's about Kevin."

Harm tried to stifle his groan, "What's wrong? Has he turned into a Dalton or something."

Mac rolled her eyes. "No. He's still behaving like a perfect gentlemen. But, he… he has a little girl. I don't even think he was planning on telling me about her. Last night we were at his apartment and the phone answered. He was occupied, so he asked me to answer it. It was his daughter."

"Wow. Mr. Perfect has some skeletons in his closet."

"Harm, don't start. What should I do?" Mac was desperate. She needed someone to talk to. 

Harm sighed. He couldn't believe he was actually going to help this guy out. "Mac, you and Kevin have only been dating for two months. Maybe he wanted to wait untill you guys got closer and everything before he told you about her."

Mac smiled softly. "Harm, we're pretty serious."

The blood drained from his face. 'I'm going to lose her.' He thought, and as quickly as the thought came, he banished it. He opened his mouth to say something when someone knocked on his door. It was Kevin. Harm sighed and walked to the door, letting him- and a beautiful little girl in.

"Sarah, we need to talk."

Mac stood up. The littler girl was beautiful. She looked a lot like her father, only with dark hair. Apparently the only trait she inherited from her mother.

"Sarah, this is my daughter, Bailey Camille Demarco. Bailey, this is daddy's girlfriend Sarah." The little girl stepped in front of him, timidly walking up to her.

"Hi."

Mac knelt down to her level. "Hi."

Harm watched the scene, angst filling him. He cleared his throat. "Guys, I think you should be alone. I would leave, but its my office. Kevin, why don't you take these girls out to lunch."

Kevin smiled gratefully at Harm. "That is a wonderful idea."

***

Present Day

Harm wished the song would last forever. He loved having Mac in his arms. "I can't believe you're a married woman."

Mac smiled. "I can't believe it either. I'm happy Harm. I'm really happy. I want you to be happy for me." She looked up at him, those big brown eyes melting him. 

"I am." He whispered. "As long as you stay this happy, I will be. I love seeing you like this."

She smiled again, and leaned closer into his embrace.

"Mac, what's going to happen to our friendship?"

She lifted her head from his broad chest. "We'll always be friends, Harm. You're my best friend. I'll never let anyone, or anything come between that."

End pt. 1

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	2. Part 2

Title: Where do we go…

Author: Tsarina Smith

Rating: PG-13

Summary: It would spoil EVERYTHING

Spoilers: No major. As I write a line of familiar dialogue may pop up. 

Disclaimer: Please. If I owned them I wouldn't struggle to pay my cell phone bill. Although, DB, I AM a film major, if you need an intern… hint, hint

*** This has nothing to do with my prior fics.

FEEDBACK PLEASE! (Pretty please with a cherry on top?)

Part 2

One Year Later

Harm sat at the bar, staring into his drink. He couldn't remember the last time he had gotten this wasted. No, wait. He could. It was the night Mac told him she and Kevin were engaged. It was bad enough he had lost her to another man, now he had lost her to another state. Kevin had been offered a wonderful job in Georgia. She had gone with him.

***

2 months ago

"Mac, you can't just leave. What about JAG. Your career, your friends."

She sighed and sipped her water. "Harm, I love JAG, and I love my friends. But I want a family. Harm, I'm pregnant. And when Kevin got the job offer in Georgia, I encouraged him to take it. I want this child to know her big sister. I had always considered resigning once I started a family, it just happened sooner then I thought."

Harm was quiet. Then he exploded. "So you're leaving me. Just like that. Has everything we've been through been nothing to you? Damn it, Mac."

Mac looked at him. "Harm, you've been the best friend I've ever had. And I'll always love you. But JAG isn't the most important thing to me. I have a husband. I have step daughter, and another baby on the way."

"Rub it in, why don't ya." He stood up, the alcohol he consumed finally getting to him. "Rub in the fact that you're happy, and in love, and have a family. Rub all that in when I've lost the only person in the world who I've ever truly loved."

Tears filled Mac's eyes. "You have rotten timing, Flyboy."

"What else is new." He threw a couple of bills on the bar and stormed out.

***

Present Day

Atlanta, Georgia

Mac arranged a picture frame on the mantle, smiling at the image. Her, Harm, Harriet, & Bud at AJ's christening. She was smiling, thinking when Kevin came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

"What-cha thinking about?"

Mac turned in his arms. "I'm gonna miss my friends."

"Do you regret moving here?"

She shook her head. "No, of course not. I'll still keep in touch with them. I love them all, but you're my husband. You come first. Our family comes first."

He leaned down and gently kissed her. "I love you, Sarah."

Mac smiled. "I love you too." She quickly kissed him again. "Baby Demarco is tired, and so is mommy. Lets go to bed."

Kevin placed his hand on her stomach, caressing their child's temporary home. "Sarah, I wasn't able to be there for Bailey as much as I would have liked. But I promise, death is the only thing that could keep me from raising this child with you."

She kissed him again, "Come on. Lets go to bed."

***

8 months later

Harriet knocked on the door to Harm's office, a small photo folder in her hand. "Harm, can we talk?" 

He looked up. "Sure. Sit down." He hadn't quite lost the sadness from Mac leaving. His eyes hadn't anyway. "Is this about Mac's baby?"

She nodded. "Yeah. She sent me pictures. I was wondering, well, Bud & the Admiral thought…"

"I do want to see." He had to look. It was like driving past a car crash. You had to see. Even though it had the potential to cause pain and heartbreak. He opened the packet of pictures, and his eyes immediately filled with tears. The first one was of Mac and the baby. He had never seen her so beautiful. And the baby was gorgeous. Wisps of blonde hair and her mothers big brown eyes. "She's beautiful." Harm whispered.

"Yes, she is." Harriet stood while Harm looked at the rest of the pictures, a sense of longing in his eyes. 

"What's-" He cleared his throat. "What's her name?"

Harriet smiled. "Olivia Celeste Demarco." 

"She's a beautiful baby. I'm sure the three of them will be very happy."

Harriet smiled sadly, "I'm sure they will.

***

Mac adjusted very well and very quickly to motherhood. She worshipped her baby and the feelings were returned. Livvie adored Mac. Her little face lit up every time Mac entered the room. Kevin had never been happier. He had everything he never had with Bailey. His wife and daughter were with him, they were both happy and healthy. Life was beyond perfect.

***

Life was going downhill for Harm. He wanted Mac. He wanted Livvie to be their child. Forgetting her was impossible. 

Harm leaned back, watching happy people walk him by. Families. Beautiful mothers, happy babies, proud fathers. He wanted. And he was determined to have it, with or without Sarah MacKenzie. 'Sarah Demarco' he muttered bitterly. 

Alison Quinn watched him. He was so gorgeous. She sauntered over to him. "What's a man like you doing in a place like this?"

He scowled at her. "Am I not allowed to be at the park?"

"Of course you are. I needed some kind of opening line though." She sat down beside him. "Mind if I join you?"

"Looks like you already did."

Alison smirked. "I guess I did, didn't I." She held one perfectly manicured hand out to him. "I'm Alison Quinn. Call me Ali."

He seized her up. She was beautiful. Long blonde hair, big blue eyes, and a body to die for. 'Not as good as Mac's.' He thought. He put his hand in hers. "Harm Rabb."

"Nice to meet you." She purred. "Very nice."

'Beautiful & obvious.' Her skin tight jeans clung to every curve. Her midriff baring top was hot pink and paper thin. Two pink stones glittered from her naval. Her full pouty lips were coated in a shimmery pink gloss. "How old are you?" He couldn't help but ask.   
She laughed. A rich, throaty laugh. "I'm old enough where you wouldn't go to jail if you decided to act on those thoughts of yours."

"And what thoughts would those be?" Playing this game was somewhat fun.

She leaned over to his ear, nibbling & sucking before answering. "That you want me. You want to rip these clothes off and bury yourself in me."

He looked her in the eyes. "You're sure about that, are you?"

She licked her lips, drawing his attention to her luscious mouth. "If you didn't want that, I highly doubt you would still be here right now."

He stood up, silently thanking God that his pants hid the effect she had on him. "Why don't we take this to a less public place."

She stepped closer to him. So close he could feel every breath she took. "That sounds like a wonderful idea."

Harm walked over to his car, let her in, and got to his apartment faster then he ever had before.

***

One Year Later

Time had went by quickly. Harm spent more and more time with Alison. Two months after they met, she persuaded him to marry her. Seven months later, she had a baby. His baby. The boy was beautiful. William Joshua Rabb. Alison was distant. Cold. She made it no secret that she didn't want this child. Harm spent his time with the baby, or with Harriet & Bud, while Alison was out all hours of the night doing God knows what. Not that he cared. He had a beautiful healthy child. He was the only good thing Alison ever gave him.

Harm unlocked the door to the apartment, trying to balance Josh and the bag that contained dinner. "Alison! You here?" When he heard no answer, he looked at the baby and smiled. "Looks like mommy is getting an early start tonight. Lets get some dinner, okay?"

Josh was such a good baby. Harm put him in the playpen while he started dinner. He went to the fridge to get a bottle of water when he noticed the envelope taped to the door. He peeled it off and opened it. "Divorce papers… what the…?" He unfolded them and set them on the table. He unfolded the other set of papers. "Custody papers." Then he found the letter. He unfolded it and began to read.

Harm-

Sorry to do this in a letter, but I'm gone. Marriage was fine. Not great, but we had fun. A baby is different. I'm tired of being a wife, and I'm not a mother. I've given you signed divorce papers. Sign them, and you'll be free. I've also dropped any rights I have to William. He's all yours. Give him a good life. 

Alison Quinn

Shocked was an understatement. "I'm free." He whispered. "I'm FREE!" YES!" He picked up the phone, dialing Harriet & Bud's number. Bud answered on the second ring. "Bud, it's Harm. Guess what, I have the most amazing news." His usually exuberant friend was somewhat somber. "Bud, is everything okay?"

"Turn on the TV, Harm. Put it on CNN."

Harm grabbed a remote and turned on the big screen TV Ali had begged for. He flipped it off of MTV and put it on CNN. 

"… Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, Kevin Demarco is dead." Harm gasped and almost dropped the phone.

"Oh My God."

Bud sighed. "Mac called us a little after it happened."

Harm listened to Bud, then turned back to the newscast. "Demarco, his wife, Former JAG lawyer, Sarah MacKenzie-Demarco, and their two daughters were returning from a vacation at Hilton Head. Their vehicle was hit on the drivers side, Demarco was killed instantly. His wife sustained no injuries, neither did the girls."

"Harriet and I are going to Atlanta tonight to be with her. I… is there any chance you could watch AJ and Eve?"

Harm shook his head. "No, I can't. I'm going with you. I have to see her."

End part 2

Feedback PLEASE!!!

*** These first two parts were the set up for my HARM & MAC story. If you want to see what happens, drop me a line or two.


	3. Part 3

Title: Where do we go…

Author: Tsarina Smith

Rating: PG-13

Summary: It would spoil EVERYTHING

Spoilers: No major. As I write a line of familiar dialogue may pop up. 

Disclaimer: Please. If I owned them I wouldn't struggle to pay my cell phone bill. Although, DB, I AM a film major, if you need an intern… hint, hint

*** This has nothing to do with my prior fics.

FEEDBACK PLEASE! (Pretty please with a cherry on top?)

Part 3

The next day, Harm, Bud, Harriet and the kids boarded the plane, and left for Georgia. Harm was nervous. He couldn't help but think that maybe fate was once again on his side. His 'wife' divorced him, the same day Mac's husband died. Maybe it was a sign. About an hour later, the plane landed. Harm had never been more nervous. He hadn't seen Mac since she left for Georgia. They had only spoken a handful of times since. She called him right after Livvie was born and that had been the last time they had spoken. Unless Harriet or Bud had told her, Mac had no knowledge of Alison or Will. 

They went to a rental car agency, and took care of their arrangements. Harm and Will followed the Robert's to Mac's home. He practically gasped when he saw it. 'Demarco sure provided for his family.' He thought. The house was stunning. It looked like a house from a movie. 'The one the mom lived in in that movie "Stepmom."' He sighed as her stopped the car. He unstrapped Will from his car seat and walked over to Harriet and Bud. 

"You ready?" Harriet asked.

"This isn't about me. It's about her. Lets go." 

They walked up to the house, Harm cowering behind. They knocked on the door. When Harm saw Mac, she almost took his breath away. The two years had made her even more beautiful. Her hair was a bit longer, falling right at her shoulders. Her body was even more sensational, and even though her eyes were red from crying, they seemed to get bigger and even more 'make your heart melt.'

"Harriet, Bud, thank God you guys are here." She was immediately pulled into her friends arms and they embraced. 

"How are you?" Harriet asked softly. 

"I'm doi-" Her sentenced ended abruptly when she noticed Harm. "I'm doing ok." She swallowed. "Harm."

"Sarah."

Bud grabbed Will from him and Mac was immediately in his arms. She began to cry again, burying her face in his shoulder. "I'm so glad you're here."

"I couldn't be anywhere else."

They pulled apart. "Thank you." She whispered. He leaned in and softly kissed her on the forehead. 

She turned to the women in the room with her. "Harm, this is Bailey's mom Lydia, this is Kevin's mom Claire, his sister Elizabeth and her husband Clark."

"It's nice to meet you, Harm." Claire said softly. "Its nice to see you again Harriet."

Harriet smiled softly. "Nice to see you too, Claire. I just wish it was under better circumstances."

Claire handed Mac a baby, a beautiful little girl. "Harm, this is my daughter Livvie."

Harm smiled. "She's beautiful." he took the baby Bud was holding, and looked at Mac. "Mac, this is my son. Will."

Her eyes widened. "Wow." She stepped closer to him, and smiled. "He's beautiful."

Bud smiled. "You should see his mom. Wow."

Harriet elbowed him. Mac smiled. "Why isn't your wife here?"

Harm grimaced at the mention of Alison. "She left me today. She decided she didn't want to be a wife and mother."

Mac nodded. "I can't say I understand. But I guess I can sympathize with raising a baby alone." Tears began to fill her eyes again. "Excuse me."

She ran upstairs to the nursery, sitting in the rocking chair, sobbing. "Oh God. Kevin, how could you leave me. I can't do this alone." 

Harm stood at the door of the nursery, watching Mac rock herself and the baby. He knocked lightly on the door. "Sarah, may I come in?"

She nodded. "Yeah." She put the baby in the crib and stared out the window. "I love this room. We decorated it together. Our bedroom just had a bed in it forever, we spent all our time fixing this room up. We wanted it to be perfect when Livvie got here." She smiled. "You should have seen us trying to put up wallpaper. I was so big I could barely walk, and he knew nothing about decorating stuff. It was crazy." Mac looked at him, smiling wistfully. "It was wonderful."

"I'm so sorry, Sarah."

Mac nodded. "I know. Everyone's sorry. But it doesn't matter. I'm alone. My husband is dead. People being sorry isn't really helping me all that much."

Harm sighed. He had never seen her like this. And he felt so helpless. "Well, even though it doesn't mean anything, I am sorry. I'll be downstairs if you need anything."

He turned, and started to walk away, when her voice stopped him. "Harm?" He turned to look at her. She had stood up and had her arms wrapped around her waist, holding herself. "Please don't leave me."

It took him all of two seconds to get back to her. He grabbed her and pulled her into his arms. "I'll never leave you, Sarah."

She put her head on his shoulder and began to sob. He stroked her back with one hand, holding her close to him with the other.

***

Lydia knocked on her friends door. 

"Come in."

She opened the door and walked inside, Harm was sitting in the armchair by the bed, holding his son, while Sarah lay in the bed, sleeping fitfully.

"Hi." She whispered.

Harm smiled. "She just now got to sleep. I didn't want to leave her incase she had a nightmare."

Lydia smiled sadly. "I'm glad she'll have friends like you and the Robert's when she goes back to Washington."

Harm looked up in surprise. "Mac's not moving back to DC."

"She told us she was. Lets go outside and talk." Harm got up and followed her out of the room. Lydia said. "Sarah said she wanted to raise her daughter in DC, so she could work, and be with her friends and her God Children."

"She hasn't mentioned anything to me yet." Harm said softly. He looked at his son, then back at Lydia. "When did she decide this?"

"Yesterday. Right after she found out. She said she needed to be with the people that she needs and that love her the most."

"Well, we do love her, that's for sure."

Lydia smiled. "I know you do."

Harm noticed her look. "I said we all do, Lydia."

"I know, Harm. But I know you love her a bit more then Bud or Harriet do." She gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm not mad. I know how you feel about her. She told me the night she told you she was moving, that you finally admitted you loved her. I'm glad she married Kevin. I'm glad she gave Bailey a sister, and I'm glad we got the chance to become friends. But one day, Harm, Mac will stop grieving. She's going to need to move on. Kevin would want her to be happy, and he would want someone he liked and respected to be a father to Livvie."

"I don't think Sarah's going to be thinking about anything like that for quite a while."

Lydia nodded. "I know." She paused. "Harm, I don't pretend to know everything that happened between the two of you. But I do know that she's going to need a friend. Be there for her Harm. She's going to be bitchy at times, she's going to be hard to get along with, and she's probably going to isolate herself. Don't let her. Don't let her go through this alone."

Harm nodded. "What is it exactly that you do?"

She grinned, "I'm a psychologist."

He smiled. "I love her, Lydia. I always have. And even if our friendship never grows into more, I will always be there for her." He sighed and smiled briefly. "And now I need to be back in there with her."

She nodded. "I know. I'm gonna go get some dinner. You want anything?"

Harm nodded. "Yeah, anything meatless."

Lydia nodded. "Ok. I'll be back in a bit. Remember what I said Harm."

"I will." Harm went back in and sat in the armchair by the bed. He kissed his on the forehead and looked at the woman who held his heart. "I'll be here Sarah."

End part 3

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	4. Part 4

Title: Where do we go…

Author: Tsarina Smith

Rating: PG-13

Summary: It would spoil EVERYTHING

Spoilers: No major. As I write a line of familiar dialogue may pop up. 

Disclaimer: Please. If I owned them I wouldn't struggle to pay my cell phone bill. Although, DB, I AM a film major, if you need an intern… hint, hint

*** This has nothing to do with my prior fics.

FEEDBACK PLEASE! (Pretty please with a cherry on top?)

Part 4

Mac went downstairs once she woke up. Harm was sitting on the floor with his son, Livvie and Bailey. She couldn't help but smile. A small smile, but still a smile. She was willing to bet he was a wonderful father. Lydia, Harriet, Claire and Beth were sitting in the dining area, talking. Bud and Clark were watching TV with AJ. It hurt seeing them so… adjusted. Sure, Bud, Harriet and Harm had no reason to be devastated, but Claire and Beth were acting like nothing was wrong. Even Bailey wasn't too sad. It was bad enough she lost her husband, but she being the only one completely devastated made her feel a little more alone.

Bailey heard footsteps on the stairs and saw her stepmother. She jumped up, and ran to her, throwing her little arms around her waist. "Are you feeling any better?"

Mac leaned over and kissed the top of her forehead. "A little bit, sweetie." 

Bailey released her, then taking her hand and they finished the last few stairs. "You wanna play with us?" She asked, almost pleading.

Mac grimaced, realizing her previous assumption that everyone else was fine was off. Bailey may not have been upstairs sobbing, but her eyes… they looked so empty. She looked lost. Mac nodded, and sat down on the floor with them. Harm looked up at her and smiled. She tried to return it, but wasn't as successful as she hoped to be. Mac picked Livvie up, and held her little girl close to her. "How's mommy's little angel, huh? Have you been good for Uncle Harm?"

Harm smiled again. "Perfect little angel. Sweet, affectionate, likes to be held…" He picked up Will, who was laying on a blanket next to him, "This little guy could learn a few things from her."

She actually smiled. "That's one of the things I love most about her. She's such a good baby. She always has been. Rarely ever cries, loves to be held. When Kevin, Bailey or I would walk into a room, she would sit up and smile, and clap her little hands together."

Harm laughed. "Lucky you. Will's the opposite. Only likes to be held during feedings. If he's this independent at 2 months old, I'm going to be in big trouble once he gets older."

She smiled again. Harm was pleased. It was a real smile. One that had the ability to light up a room, and light up his heart. She had such a strong power over him. He just wished he knew a way to take her pain away. Mac looked at him, and could tell he was thinking. His eyes did this weird thing whenever he was thinking. They didn't squint really, but they somehow got smaller. Maybe she was just crazy. "What-cha thinking about?"

Harm grinned. She always did that. "Nothing really. Just how this isn't what I imagined when I pictured the future."

Her smile dimmed some, some remained. "I know. I never pictured I'd fall in love, only to lose him in a car accident. Now I'm going to have to raise Livvie alone."

Harm placed his hands over hers. "Mac, I know I can't ever take Kevin's place, but anytime you need any kind of help with her, just call me." He grinned. "I'm hoping you'll make the same offer with me and Will."

Mac brushed away a tear and looked at him. "Thank you, Flyboy."

"Any time, Ninja Girl."

***

Two Days Later

Her hand trembled as the threaded the silver earring through her ear. She had never been so shaky in her life. Well, maybe when she was getting the alcohol out of her system. Mac sat down on the edge of the bed. If she could stay away from the alcohol today, all would be good. When she finished dressing, she stood in front of the mirror and checked her appearance. Her simple black dress was immaculate. Her hair was perfect. Her make up was conservative. She was as physically ready as she would ever be. But emotionally, she was a wreck. She sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at the framed pictures on the dresser. Her and Kevin at their wedding. The two of them and the girls. Kevin & Livvie at the park. Wonderful memories of their all too short time together. "Oh God, how am I going to get through this day."

Harm timidly knocked on the door. He waited for a moment, and the opened it himself. "Mac, ya decent?"  
She looked at him. "Yeah." She whispered. "I didn't hear you knock."

"It's ok. You have a lot on your mind." He looked her over, kind of surprised by her not being in uniform.

She looked down, at herself, and then back up at him. "Is something wrong with my dress?"

"No. I'm just used to seeing you in uniform for a funeral."

Mac smiled softly. "I'm not a marine anymore."

Harm thought back to what Lydia had told him, and decided to question her about it. "Mac, you're not a marine anymore. You can be a lawyer here in Atlanta. Why are you moving back to DC?"

She smiled softly. "Who told?"

"Lydia. She told me yesterday when you were asleep."

Mac sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I didn't want anyone to know just yet." Sighing, she continued. "I just can't stay here anymore. Kevin was the only reason I came here in the first place. And now since he's not here, I don't wanna be here."

He nodded. "I can understand that." He picked up one of her hands. "Come here."

Harm helped her stand and pulled her into his arms, hugging her close to him. "I'll be here no matter what." He whispered.

"Thank you."

"Sarah!" Lydia called, "Its time."

Mac pulled herself out of Harm's embrace and looked at him. "You'll stay with me?"

"Always." he took her hand in his, and squeezed gently. "Lets go."

***

Harm stepped out of the car first, then helping Mac out. The second she was out, he picked up her hand and walked with her to the graveside. Claire and Mac had wanted a simple graveside service. Kevin wasn't big for big, overdone church ceremonies. A wedding was something to be done up and celebrated. Not a funeral. Mac sat down in one of the white folding chairs and looked more then a little confused as Harm began to take a seat behind her instead of beside her. Lydia and Claire nudged him back to her side. He smiled gratefully at them, and took the seat next to hers. They joined hands again, and sat there. Completely quiet. Completely still.

Harriet and Bud sat behind them and looked at each other with a sad smile. Harriet's heart went out to Mac. Their daughter Eve was only a month younger then Livvie. Harriet couldn't begin to imagine losing her husband, having to raise her children alone. 

"At least she has us." Bud whispered to her. He paused for a second. "And Harm."

Harriet looked at him and smiled. She leaned in to gently kiss his cheek and smiled. "I love you Bud."

"I love you too."

Mac stared straight ahead. The coffin was beautiful. But looking at it made her sick. All of her hopes, her dreams, were in that damn box. Her future was in that box."

Harm sensed her distress and squeezed her hand. "I'm here, Sarah."

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes and nodded. "Thank you."

A few moments later, the minister began the service.

"… Kevin Demarco was a wonderful man. He was a man completely devoted to his family. His daughters and wife were everything to him. And his wife would like to say a few things."

Mac released Harm's hand and walked up to the podium. "I um…" She smiled. "I'm a lawyer. You'd think I could be a little more articulate. I guess all I can really say is that I love him so much. He gave me everything I always wanted. With him, everything was wonderful. There aren't many people out there as wonderful as Kevin. He is… was a wonderful father. A wonderful husband. And a wonderful friend. My biggest regret is that Livvie will never know her father. But all of you wonderful people, people who also loved him, you have to keep him alive.." a quiet sob escaped. "Keep him alive in your hearts for Livvie & Bailey. I love you Kevin. And I'll miss you so much."

She stepped off the stage, and practically collapsed. Harm caught her, and allowed her to cry on his shoulder. He closed his eyes like everyone else when the minister prayed. He offered his condolences to the friends and family once more, but his thoughts and heart were with Mac. She needed him. And no way in hell would he let her down.

End Part 4

FEEDBACK PLEASE! (The next part will be better, I PROMISE. This one was hampered by boring things like school.)


	5. Part 5

Title: Where do we go…

Author: Tsarina Smith

Rating: PG-13

Summary: It would spoil EVERYTHING

Spoilers: No major. As I write a line of familiar dialogue may pop up. 

Disclaimer: Please. If I owned them I wouldn't struggle to pay my cell phone bill. Although, DB, I AM a film major, if you need an intern… hint, hint

*** This has nothing to do with my prior fics.

FEEDBACK PLEASE! (Pretty please with a cherry on top?)

Part 5

Everyone had come back to the house after the service. Mac knew she was being unsociable, but who really gave a damn. It was too hard to be around everyone. She curled up under the covers and stared at the pictures on the nightstand. She was slowly drifting off into her own world when someone knocked on the door. 

"Hey." Harm said softly. "Can I come in?"

She rolled over and faced him. "Yeah, come on in."

He sat down on the side of the bed and brushed her hair off of her face. "Is there anything I can do?"

Mac looked up at him, large, tearful eyes nearly breaking his heart. "Don't leave me."

"I won't."

"Promise?"

Harm smiled and stroked her back softly. "I promise." He smiled. "Scoot over. If I'm gonna stay, I wanna take a nap too."

She smiled softly and moved over a bit. He lay down next to her, wrapping her up in his arms. Looking up at him, she smiled again. "Thank you, Harm. I think I can sleep now"

***

Claire knocked on her daughter in laws door. When no one answered, she slowly pushed it open. "Sar-" Her voice died off. Sarah was laying in harms arms, her cheeks stained with tears, and Harm had his arms protectively around her. She smiled softly and went back out, shutting the door behind her. 'At least she would have someone to take care of her in DC.' Claire thought. She went back downstairs to the remaining guests. She never understood these things. The person who was supposed to be receiving the support, usually wanted to be by themselves. 

"Grandma, is everything okay?"

Claire looked at Bailey and smiled. "Yeah, sweetie, everything is fine. Are you doing okay?"

The little girl nodded. "Yeah, I'm ok. I miss daddy, but mommy said he's in heaven watching over me. And Sarah said I can still talk to him anytime I want to."

Claire picked Bailey up and they sat down on the sofa. "That's absolutely right. See, you and your daddy may not be able to see each other anymore." She picked her hand up, and placed it over her heart. "Your daddy will always be in your heart. And you can talk to him. And he'll be able to watch over you and protect you, and Livvie, and all of us."

"When Sarah moves back to DC, I won't get to see Livvie anymore."

Claire sighed. "I know, angel. You won't get to see her all the time like you do now, but Sarah and Livvie will come visit. And I'm sure your mom will let you go see them."

Bailey smiled and leaned up to give her grandmother a hug. "I love you, Grandma."

"I love you too, sweetie."

***

All the guests were gone. Harriet and Lydia were straightening the kitchen. Claire was reading Bailey a story. Harm and Mac sat in the study. Talking. Discussing her career.

"Have you thought about where you're going to live once you get back to DC?"

Mac sighed. "No. I am planning on going up there sometime this weekend to look for a place."

Harm sighed and walked over to the sofa she was sitting on. "May I make a suggestion?"

She nodded. "Sure."

"The building I live in has some vacancies."

With a smile, she asked, "This isn't the building you lived in when I was still there is it? No offense Harm, but that's not the part of town you want to raise a child in."

He grinned. "For your information, its not. Its in Falls Church. Its pricey, but incredible. Internet access, gated entry, fitness center, pools, you name it, they have it. I have a 2 bedroom, 2 bath, and its $1200 a month."

Mac nodded. "I could swing that." She looked up at him shyly. "Will you go with me?"

He grinned. "Of course I will. I'm your best friend Mac. I'll be here for you."

Mac was about to thank him, when someone knocked on the door. "Come in." She called loudly.

Beth walked in, and smiled. Livvie was in her arms, and the second she saw her mother, she reached out for her. Mac smiled a genuine, happy smile for the first time all day. She took the baby from her sister in law and sat back down on the sofa. 

"Has mommies little angel been good for Aunt Beth?" Mac asked. She smiled at the baby in her arms and leaned down, kissing her forehead.

"Absolutely. The second she started getting cranky was like 2 seconds before I brought her in here."

"I'm glad you did. We've been playing nap-tag all day. When she's up, I'm asleep. When I'm up, she's asleep." Mac smiled again and looked up at Beth. "Beth, I'm so grateful for all you've done. I couldn't have made it through today without all of you."

Beth smiled and leaned in to kiss Mac's forehead. "Sarah, you're my sister. And I love you. And I love Livvie. And I will be here whenever you need me. Clark and I are going home tonight, but even then, I'm just a phone call away."

"I know. And I love you too."

With a smile, she stood up. "I'm gonna go. Go home, sleep some. These past few days have been so draining."

"Yeah, I know." Mac stood up and walked her sister in law out. "Beth, you lost your brother. I may not be able to be of much comfort, but if you need to talk, I too am just a phone call away."

Beth hugged Mac again, then kissed her niece. "I know. Love you."

"Love you, too." And Beth left. Mac shut the door back, and sat down in a chair, staring at her daughter.

"Everything ok?" Harm asked softly.

Livvie wrapped her little hand around one of her mothers fingers, causing Mac to sigh softly. "Yeah. I guess." She looked up, her teary eyes meeting his sympathetic ones. "Harm, for the first time in my life, I am truly and utterly scared of messing up. Before, I was never to scared of messing up. It would only affect me. But now… Everything I do is going to affect her. What if I screw up?"

Harm stood and walked over to her. He knelt before her and looked her in the eyes. "Mac, I've only been around for a couple of days. But I already know how much you love this little girl. And I can tell that you're a wonderful mother. You're going to be fine. And, if you do need help, you have all of us. Harriet, Bud, Lydia, Claire, Beth, Clark, the Admiral, and most importantly, me. Like I said earlier, Sarah, I will always be here for you."

***

The next day, Harm, Bud, Harriet and Mac went back to DC. Harm and Mac would be returning to Atlanta. Harriet and Bud were staying in DC, but going back to Atlanta over the weekend. They went to pick up AJ & Evie and then they went with Mac to look at the apartments in Harm's building. 

"This place is beautiful." Mac said. "Your taste has improved."

He smiled. "Once Alison and I got married, she refused to live in the old place. Once I found out she was pregnant, I consented and we moved in over here."

Mac walked around the bare apartment. She smiled as she looked out the large picture windows. She had a beautiful view. Walking into the master bedroom, she almost gasped. The room had sliding glass doors, which opened onto a spacious terrace. The room was huge. And the adjoining bathroom was just as big. A huge whirlpool, a glassed in shower, a marble sink… it was perfect. "This place is incredible." She said. Mac smiled at the real estate agent. "I want it."

Debbie McCann, the agent, smiled and pulled out a stool from the bar. "Wonderful." Grabbing some papers and a pen from her briefcase, she placed them in front Mac. "Just fill these out, I'll run a quick credit and reference check, and if everything comes back okay, the place is yours."

Mac filled out the paperwork, handed her stuff to Debbie and stood up. "Harm, thank you."

He grabbed her, pulling her into his arms. "Anytime, Sarah, anytime."

End part 5

FEEDBACK PLEASE!


	6. Part 6

Title: Where do we go…

Author: Tsarina Smith

Rating: PG-13

Summary: It would spoil EVERYTHING

Spoilers: No major. As I write a line of familiar dialogue may pop up. 

Disclaimer: Please. If I owned them I wouldn't struggle to pay my cell phone bill. Although, DB, I AM a film major, if you need an intern… hint, hint

*** This has nothing to do with my prior fics.

FEEDBACK PLEASE! (Pretty please with a cherry on top?)

Part 6

Three weeks later, Mac was moved into the new apartment. Harm, Harriet, Bud and the kids were coming over to celebrate.

"What did you do about the house?"

Mac put her fork down and looked at Harriet. "Claire had a great idea. Since I didn't want to sell it, and it is such a huge house, we're going to make it a bed and breakfast. She's gonna move into the master bedroom, we're gonna keep Livvie's room the same, but the other 4 bedrooms are going to be used for guests and everything. We'll let people use the stables and the pool, and Claire is hiring a cook and a housekeeper."

Harriet lit up, "That's a wonderful idea. The house and gardens are so beautiful, you'll have no trouble getting business."

"Actually," she said, "I was thinking maybe the four of us, the AJ & Sydney could down there for a week before we open to the public."

"That would be wonderful." Harriet said. "Oh, I can't wait."

Bud, "It sounds wonderful." He looked at Harm. "Are you coming, Sir?"

Harm smiled at Mac, then at Bud. "Of course."

Mac stood up. "I'm gonna go check on Livvie. I'll be right back." On her way to the bedroom, the phone rang. She picked it up. "Hello?"

"Mrs. Demarco, would you like to comment on your new boyfriend? Were you and Mr. Rabb involved while your husband was alive?"

Harm watched as her face went white. "Sarah, who is it?"

She turned, so he was no longer facing him. "That is untrue. Mr. Rabb and I are not together. Never have been." She hung up the phone. Mac turned and looked at her friends, then bolted and ran to her daughters room.

"We're gonna go." Harriet said. She leaned up and kissed Bud's cheek. "We'll see you tomorrow." They left, leaving Harm alone to deal with Mac.

She emerged from the bedroom a few moments after she heard the door shut. "Why are you still here?" She sat down on the couch and looked at him. 

"I told you I would always be here for you."

"God, why didn't I consider how it would look. Spending time with you, moving into your building. Of course people are going to think something's going on. Oh God… Claire and Beth. What if one of them tries to take Livvie from me." She got up and walked over to the door. "You have to go. Leave. Please." She broke down and fell to the floor. "Please."

Harm walked over to her, grabbed her hands and pulled her into his arms. "I'm not leaving you, Mac. You've done nothing to be ashamed of. Beth & Claire know you better then that. They're not going to try and take Livvie from you. But for some reason if they DID try, you have a lot of great lawyers on your side. Me, the Admiral, Bud, Sturgis, Mattoni, hell, we could probably even get Brumby out here. No one will take your daughter from you. I promise."

"Why did he have to die?" She sobbed. "I was so happy. For the first time ever, I knew complete and total happiness."

He wrapped his arms around her tighter, holding her as close to him as he possibly could. "It will be okay, Sarah. You will be that happy again. I promise."

***

The next afternoon, Mac was getting ready to go job hunting, when someone knocked on the door. She buttoned the jacket of her suit and went to the door. "Claire." She said simply, all color draining from her face. "What are you doing here?"

Claire walked by her, a smile playing her face. "I can't see my daughter in law and granddaughter?"

Mac leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. 

"Sit down. Lets talk." Claire ordered. She led Mac over to the sofa and they sat down. "Honey, I saw the reports on those damn gossip shows."

"You don't believe it do you?" She asked timidly. "You don't think-"

"No. I know nothing was going on between you and Harm then. And I know nothing is going on now. Just ignore those people. They don't know anything."

"I know." She said softly. "But it still hurts. How could anyone think I could be unfaithful to my husband, or be so callous with his memory. I love him so much. I could never have moved on this soon. Hell, I don't know if I will ever be able to move on."

Caroline smiled and took her hand and squeezed it softly. "You will one day. Just give it time. When the time is right, you'll know it."

"I love you." Mac said.

The older woman smiled and leaned over to hug her. "I love you too, sweetie." She took in Mac's ensemble for the first time. "Where are you going?"

Mac grinned, and then bit her lip lightly. "I have a job interview at a law firm in DC. it's a very successful firm. I'm so nervous."

"Don't be. You'll do fine. What are you doing with Livvie?"

She grinned. "Now that you're here, I'm hoping you'll watch her."

Claire laughed. "Don't have to ask me twice. I'm taking my granddaughter out for a walk. You finish getting ready. Once you get the job, we can have dinner or something tonight."

"You bet." And with that, she went to finish getting dressed.

***

Harm smiled as he walked up the two floors of stairs between his and Mac's floors. He had gotten off from work early and wanted to see if she was doing better then she was the previous night. When he past a window, he couldn't help but make sure his hair and uniform were immaculate. He didn't know why he cared about such moronic things, but when it came to her, everything, even the most trivial detail had to be perfect. He walked up to her door and knocked loudly.

"Mac!" Harm called as he knocked on the door. "Mac, please let me in."

"She's not there, Commander." Claire said as she and Livvie walked up to the door. She took the key Mac had given her that morning and let them in.

"She's okay isn't she?"

Claire nodded and smiled. "Sit down, Commander. We need to have a chat."

End Part 6


	7. Part 7

Title: Where do we go…

Author: Tsarina Smith

Rating: PG-13

Summary: It would spoil EVERYTHING

Spoilers: No major. As I write a line of familiar dialogue may pop up. 

Disclaimer: Please. If I owned them I wouldn't struggle to pay my cell phone bill. Although, DB, I AM a film major, if you need an intern… hint, hint

*** This has nothing to do with my prior fics.

FEEDBACK PLEASE! (Pretty please with a cherry on top?)

Part 7

Harm nodded and followed her into the apartment. 

"Have a seat." She said. "I'm gonna go make some coffee. I'll be back in just a minute." She disappeared into the kitchen, and came back a few minutes later with two steaming cups of coffee. 

"You're not going to take Livvie from Mac are you?"

Claire almost choked on her coffee. "Excuse me? Where in the hell did you get an idea about that? Why on earth would I take Livvie from Sarah?"

Harm sighed and sipped his coffee. "She got really scared last night when that reporter called."

"I would never take her child from her. She is a wonderful mother."

He nodded. "She is. She's a remarkable woman."

Claire grinned over her coffee. "Harm, I would appreciate it if you were completely honest with me. Are you in love with her?"

"Yes." That was his simple reply. After years of making their relationship difficult, he made it extremely simple. He was in love with her. And there was no sense in denying it. "I always have been. I told her the night that she announced she was moving to Georgia. Watching her go through all of this, trying to help her, has only made me love her more. But I promise that I'm not going to push her, or rush her in to getting over Kevin. If we ever move beyond friendship, which I hope we do, it will be at her doing. She loved your son completely. And as much as I love her, I will never do anything to disrespect his memory or cause her any further pain."

She smiled. "Honey, I know you love her. I knew it from the moment I met you know. I knew it the moment I saw you dance with her at the wedding. And if my son can't be here to see his little girl grow up, I can't think of anyone he'd rather have in place then you."

Harm leaned over and gave her an impulsive hug. "I can see why Mac loves you so much."

Claire winked at him. "Likewise."

***

Mac unlocked the door to the apartment and all but danced inside. "Claire? You here?" She lay her keys on the table, and slipped out of her coat. "Claire?" Walking into the kitchen, she noticed a note stuck to the fridge. 

Sarah-

Livvie and I are visiting Harm. Come get us when you get home.

Love you,

Claire

Mac smiled and walked back into the living room, grabbed her keys and left. A few minutes' later, she was knocking on Harms door. He opened it, with a smile. She heard Claire laughing in the background, along with a little extra noise from the children. 

"Hey, Mac, come on in." He held the door open a little wider and allowed her in. He closed the door behind her and smiled. "So, how'd the job interview go?"

Her face lit up. "I got it. I start Monday."

He pulled her to him for a quick hug. "Congratulations, Sarah."

Claire walked over to the two of them. "So, you ready for that celebratory dinner now?"

Harm laughed. "When it comes to food she's always ready."

Mac scowled at him, and smacked him lightly in the chest. "Watch it, Sailor."

"How would you like to join us for dinner?" Claire asked.

He lit up. "I'd love too."

***

"I'm going back to my hotel. I'll see you tomorrow." Claire leaned in to kiss Mac, and then Livvie goodbye, and she was gone. 

Mac leaned against the door and smiled at Harm. "I've had a wonderful time. Thank you."

He smiled. "I haven't done anything."

"Yes you have. You keep my mind off things. I can see you do the same for Claire. You make me laugh, and make life a little less difficult. And I appreciate everything, I want you to know that."

Harm sighed gently. "Its my pleasure, Sarah. I'm your best friend, and I'm going to support you through all of this. I'll always be here."

She melted into his willing embrace and rested her head on his chest. After a few moments she pulled back. "Give Will a kiss goodnight for me."

"Do the same with Livvie." He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek, and Mac went inside. She lay her purse on the table, said goodnight to the baby sitter and picked up her daughter. "We're gonna be just fine, Livvie. Just fine."

***

Harm kissed his son goodnight and walked back into his room. He picked up a picture of him and Mac at some party back from several years ago. Post Renee & Mic, Pre Kevin. Everything was so wonderful between them. And then she had gotten married. He lay down in bed, holding the picture. He wasn't going to give up so easily this time. He hated that she was suffering, and that she had experienced yet another loss, but when she was ready, he would be waiting.

"I love you, Sarah. And when you're ready, I'll make sure that you know that."

He placed the photo back on the nightstand, turned off the light and went to sleep.

End Part 7

Feedback PLEASE!


	8. Part 8

Title: Where do we go…

Author: Tsarina Smith

Rating: PG-13

Summary: It would spoil EVERYTHING

Spoilers: No major. As I write a line of familiar dialogue may pop up. 

Disclaimer: Please. If I owned them I wouldn't struggle to pay my cell phone bill. Although, DB, I AM a film major, if you need an intern… hint, hint

*** This has nothing to do with my prior fics.

FEEDBACK PLEASE! (Pretty please with a cherry on top?)

*** I wanna thank EVERYONE who sent me feedback. You guys are GREAT!

Part 8: The Conclusion

The next morning, Harm awoke to someone knocking loudly on the door. He groaned and crawled out of bed. He purposely avoided looking at the clock, and threw on a t-shirt. He walked into the living room, and opened the door.

"Mac," he said, "What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too." 

He grinned. "You know it's always nice to see you. But isn't it a bit early? Oh my God, is everything okay with Livvie & Claire?"

She smiled. His concern was very sweet. "No, they're fine. But Harm, it's not early. Its 10:00am." 

"Oh shit." He ran into his room to look at the clock and darted back into the living room. "Oh my God. Mac, the Admiral is going to kill me.

She smiled, and shook her head softly. "No, no he's not. When he called me, he figured that you had had a long night with the baby, and overslept. He sent me over here to get you up, and into work."

He grabbed her, holding her to him in a fierce hug. "Thank you." Once he pulled back, he looked at her almost shyly. "Will you do me a huge favor?"

Mac nodded. "If I can."

"Will you call Will's baby sitter and explain that I overslept, and if you can, will you drop him off over there?"

"How about I watch him today. I'd love to spend sometime with him. Claire and I are going shopping with Livvie. We can take him. The kids get along great together."

Harm smiled. "Mac, you really wanna take two babies to the mall?"

"Harm. Please. I was a marine, I put up with you for six years or so. I think Claire and I can handle two kids for a couple of hours."

"Be my guest." He smiled and rubbed his eyes. "Where is Claire, by the way?"

Mac walked to pick up Will, and once she had him, she went back to the living room. "Claire stopped by early this morning and she took Livvie to pick us up some breakfast. Now, Commander Rabb, get your six in the shower. I'll get Will ready. You best hurry. The Admiral can only forgive so much."

He impulsively grabbed her and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Thank you, Mac."

"Anytime, Flyboy. Now get dressed. That's an order."

He had started walking to the bathroom, when he turned and gave her one last grin. "You don't outrank me anymore." With that, he disappeared into the bathroom, leaving her to sigh and smile.

***

Mac struggled with Will and his diaper bag and getting into her apartment. Livvie and Claire were back. Claire was feeding Livvie, and Mac noticed that Claire had bought the good stuff for breakfast. Croissants, strawberries, bagels, and a gallon of the strawberry, orange, pineapple juice made fresh daily from the fruit shop down the street. 

"Claire, this stuff looks great." Mac sat down at the table and picked up a croissant. "I love these." Mac said. She pulled off a piece. "They're wonderful, you know. Light, flaky, though incredibly fattening."

"What's wrong." Claire asked simply.

Mac sighed. "I miss Kevin."

Claire smiled sadly and sat down next to Mac. "What happened."

Pouring herself a glass of juice, she opened up to her mother in law. "Right after you left this morning, AJ called. Harm hadn't shown up for work yet, and asked me to go check on him. When I went down there, it just felt so wonderful & familiar. Teasing a man in his pajamas, talking about the kids, it was nice. And I miss it. I miss helping Kevin get ready in the morning. I miss talking about Livvie and what she and I were going to do that day. I miss the constant teasing. I miss everything."

"I know." Claire said softly.

Mac wiped away a tear and stared into her juice. "Some days, it isn't so bad. In fact, there are some days when I don't cry. There are some days when I don't feel dead inside."

Claire got up and moved to her side, giving her a hug. "I know it hurts sweetie, I know. And I promise one day it won't hurt as much. One day you'll wake up, and you wont feel dead inside."

She let out a half sob, half laugh and looked at her. "Wanna tell when that day will come?"

"In time, Sarah. In time."

***

That evening, Harm unconsciously straightened his uniform before knocking on Mac's door. She opened it, and smiled. "Hey, come in.

"Did you guys have fun today?"

Mac grinned. "Yep. And you thought I couldn't handle two little kids. They were both angels."

Harm smiled. "So you're an angel for Mac, but when it comes to me, you're "Angelus" What's up with that?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Angelus?"

With a laugh, he said, "Yeah. Alison loved that show, Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. Angel was a vampire, but he had a soul, so he was good. But when he had sex with Buffy, he lost his soul, and turned into Angelus, a bad ass viscous vampire." He laughed again. Her eyebrows were raised, and she had a disbelieving look on her face. "It's a good show." He said defensively."

Mac grinned, and pulled him to her for a hug. "Thank you."

"I don't know what I did, but as long as you keep smiling like that, I'll try to keep doing it."

"Wanna stay for dinner? We're having Claire's famous chicken pot pie."

Harm nodded, like a happy little boy. "I'd love too. My mom made awesome chicken pot pie."

"Nothing can compare to Claire's. Come on in." She held the door open wider for him to come in and smiled. He put his briefcase and coat on the armchair closest to the door, and loosened his tie a bit. 

"Claire, that smells great." He called out. He walked into kitchen. "Anything I can do to help?"

Claire smiled and shook her head. "Nope. You and Mac go relax. I'm almost done in here."

Harm walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch beside Mac. He grabbed the remote from her and put it on FX. 

"Excuse me, Flyboy, what are you doing?"

He smiled. "They show 'Buffy' re-runs every night on FX. I'm giving you an education into pop culture."

Claire smiled to herself, as she listened to the scene in the living room. "You're gonna be fine, Sarah. Just fine." She lifted her eyes upward and whispered, "I love you, Kevin."

The End (for no, there will be a sequel.)

I'm a feedback addict. I need it. I CRAVE IT. Give it, give it, give it! Please J 


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